Over the last couple of years I have found myself in a new place of liberty and at the start of fresh adventures, rediscovering dreams I thought were lost. It has been an exciting journey, but also a challenging one. At the age of 49, I felt that it might be too late for some of these things to happen and struggled to get to a place of real faith about it.
In early January 2016 I was in California on vacation, visiting San Francisco. As we drove into the city on a beautiful sunny day, my heart was torn; I would have loved to have been this free 25 years ago, travelling the world, following His heart. That ‘too late’ feeling was all over me.
Suddenly the Lord broke in on me and said “Actually, it is too late”. I was startled by this: I would have expected Him to say the opposite. He continued, “That’s the whole point. It is too late. But when it is too late in the natural, then I break in with miracles, just like with Sarah and Isaac”. Wow! This word completely set me free. I started rejoicing, “It is too late, it is too late! But now He can do miracles with my life”.
Hebrews 11:11 (ESV) says
“By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered Him faithful who had promised.
It is always, always, all about Him, about what He can do with my laid down life, and not about what I can achieve. I am past the age, so all fruit that comes from my life is a miracle, conceived from His overshadowing, brought to birth by His miracle working power. And He gets all the glory.
Towards the end of January, I was in a day-long worship event in Cardiff, Wales. The worship leader led us in a beautiful song with an invitation to come boldly before His throne. It was so good just to enter in and to stand confidently before precious Jesus.
As I responded to the invitation, I experienced a vision. I was standing before the Lord’s throne and could see countless worshippers surrounding Him, which I knew to be the great cloud of witnesses. I heard Him say, “You can ask Me for whatever you want”. I turned my heart to Him, eager to ask according to His will and said “I want the blessing of Hebrews 11:11 – the faith of Sarah to conceive when it is past the time”.
The Lord said “Would you like to meet her?” And suddenly Sarah was right there like a crowned queen, full of dignity and honour. She came out of the crowd towards me and knelt at my feet, reaching in to me and laying hands on my womb. Then she was joined by other women - Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah and Elizabeth – all of these once barren ones laying hands on me and imparting the faith to conceive, giving me what they had themselves. In the corner of my eye I could see Mary looking on.
The Lord spoke again and asked me a question: “Will you bring the prophets to birth?” I yelled “Yes! Whatever the cost, whatever it looks like, I will let You overshadow me, and bring fruit to birth from me that will bring You glory”. As I said it, I was aware that there will be a cost. All of these women had walked through impossibility with the Lord and had received sons of promise, many of them prophets. They had to walk through difficult times as their sons were misunderstood and mistreated because of their call. Bringing prophets to birth and maturity was not easy!
Today the Lord is inviting each one of us, “Will you let Me overshadow you? Will you cry with Mary ‘Let it be to me according to Your word’”? What will He do with our surrendered lives? What amazing fruit will we bring to birth as we let Him have His way? It will be worth it, whatever the cost.